Everyone has questions.

Here are some common ones that can help you find your way.

Is it imperative that we meet with a mentee couple every week?

Meeting weekly is best when the marriage of the couple being mentored needs deep enrichment or is in crisis. However, it is important to remember that mentors are volunteers. Many mentoring spouses both work out of the house and many others also have children. Therefore, we recommend mentors and mentees meet together at least twice a month and no less. Reason being, when couples agreed to meet twice monthly, should a situation arise that causes the meeting to be canceled, it will be at least a month before couples resume on their normal schedule.

How long does the typical session last?
Typical mentoring sessions last 1 ½ to 2 hours.

We want to be mentored, but there is no program like this in our church. Where do we start?
The first place to start is with your pastor or your minister who oversees the marriage and family ministry of the church. Once the connection is made between your church and Marriage Mentors, we will guide them through the necessary steps to train mentors within your church.

Can the mentoring be used with a group of 2 or more couples?
The mentoring process was developed for couple to couple discipleship. Meeting with multiple couples at the same time can limit transparency, reduce the ability to address specific issues and conflicts, and requires more skill as a mentor to facilitate the group in keeping them focused, engaged and linked together.

Can this work with a non-Christian couple/individual?
We have seen many professions of faith over the years through the mentoring process. It would be hard for a non-believer to continue through the materials and process with no faith in God as the Devoted book is centered on the Bible and biblical concepts, and we believe firmly that the God is the changing agent in the mentoring process. We wouldn’t rule out beginning the process with a non-Christian couple, but if they don’t see value in beginning a relationship with God at some point early in the process they probably won’t see value in the biblical principles taught.

How do you pair a mentee couple with a mentor couple?
Mentors and mentees are paired by the ministry coordinators or staff of the church. Couples are usually paired by similar life experiences or personality traits and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Is it okay to match a mentee and mentor couple who already know each other?
It is okay to match mentors and mentees who know each other, but through communication with the ministry leadership both mentors and mentees are express concerns around pairing if a conflict of interests is apparent.

What do you do if one of the mentees has an addiction of some kind?
This would be a situation that hopefully is uncovered by the mentoring ministry leadership of the church before the mentees are paired with a mentor. If the addiction surfaces after the mentoring has started this information would need to be communicated to the church leadership so that a decision could be made as to the future of the mentoring relationship and the possible need for professional counseling or intervention for that individual.

If one or both spouses need counseling, do we need to stop mentoring them?
This is a case by case basis and the decision should be made by the church staff and mentoring ministry leadership. We have seen instances where it is best if the mentoring stops while the individual(s) get professional counseling and we have also experienced the positive benefit of mentoring continuing while couples seek counseling.

What do you do if the mentee couple will not do the homework they are asked to do?
You definitely want to extend some grace the first time the mentee couple fails to complete the homework. If this becomes a pattern you would need to confront the mentee about whether they are willing to put in the effort to see change in their marriage. If they aren’t, then you would need to talk with your ministry leadership about the possibility of blessing and releasing your mentee couple. Remember, you can’t work harder at your mentees’ relationship than they are willing to work.

What do I do if our mentee couple shares an instance of abuse?
Any instances of abuse need to be reported to your church staff and ministry leadership so they can guide you on reporting requirements and plan of action.

We want to be mentored, but there is no program like this in our church. Where do we start?
The first place to start is with your pastor or your minister who oversees the marriage and family ministry of the church. Once the connection is made between your church and Marriage Mentors, we will guide them through the necessary steps to train mentors within your church. Once mentors are trained, your church will guide the process of pairing you up with your pastor. Please have your pastor call or email us to get starte

Our church is located in a small rural community. Is training available for us locally? If not, where is the closest location where we can send future mentor couples to be trained? 
We are currently implementing a train the trainer module which will put regional trainers in multiple locations throughout the country. At this time, you will need to send future mentors to Dallas to be trained, what is possible for us to travel to you considering you have at least 10 couples to train. Many churches in small communities come together in a collaborative effort to train if you mentor couples in each church, therefore making it more sensible to absorb the travel expenses of our staff.



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