FILLING THE BUCKET

My youngest daughter is in first grade and her teacher has implemented a tool called “the bucket” to help her students form positive habits when interacting with one another. If a child says or does something that is not positive they are told that their actions are “emptying the bucket” of the other person involved and when the action is positive they are said to be “filling the bucket”. We now use this with her at home and when she does or says something positive we make a big point of letting her know that she has just “filled our bucket”. She takes so much satisfaction in this and works hard to find other opportunities to “fill our buckets”.

Dr. John Trent’s book, The 2 Degree Difference, talks about the big difference little changes can make in our lives. Too often I think we are looking for our spouse to make huge changes in areas we feel they could use some improvement. We need to recognize the small things they are doing that will eventually result in big differences in the marriage. When is the last time you were intentional about filling your spouse’s bucket? What are some practical ways you can encourage them? Here are a few thoughts:

• tell your wife she looks nice
• tell your husband you appreciate how hard he works for the family
• send a text to your wife saying she is a great mother
• express thankfulness for dinner
• say “I love you”
• pick one thing you appreciate about your spouse and tell them about it
• encourage them to do more of what they enjoy doing most

The list could go on and on, but what’s important is that your spouse is being encouraged and built up by the person who knows them best. Be intentional about filling up your spouse’s bucket so that there is plenty in there for those times you unintentionally empty it!